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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
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I don't like lollipops. - Eoin Colfer Quotes
I don't like lollipops.
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Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.
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Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.
Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.
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I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?
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Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team - Eoin Colfer Quotes
Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team
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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
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Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared. - Eoin Colfer Quotes
I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
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It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget. - Eoin Colfer Quotes
It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
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A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums. - Eoin Colfer Quotes
A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
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Together we will be unstoppable.
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There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.
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If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.
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This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.
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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.
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Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
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Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?
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The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something else.
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I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
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I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.
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A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
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Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.
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He threw his head back and sang, "'I am a centaur, yes, a centaur is what I am.' It's not like you to wax, Artemis" "Foaly is singing," said Holly. "Surely that's illegal?
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Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?
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If Elmore Leonard met Jim Thompson down a dark alley at midnight they might emerge a week later with thick beards, bloodshot eyes and the manuscript for THE BIG O.
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I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
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Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
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I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.
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There is no such thing as a happy ending. Every culture has a maxim that makes this point, while nowhere in the Universe is there a single gravestone that reads 'He Loved Everything About His Life, Especially the Dying Bit at the End'.
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Trust me. I'm a genius.
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
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Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
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You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it. This was enough to elicit a deafening moment of silence even in the middle of a crisis, which Orion seemed to be blissfully unaffected by.
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Im riding a troll! i was born to do this,and steal stuff, and EAT LOADS!
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Chaos reigned, and the survivalists eagerly unwrapped the kidskin from their crossbows. Phase one of Opal's plan was complete.
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Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
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Nobody's death is impending." ..."Well technically everyone's death is impending.
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Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
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The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
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Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
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They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.
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She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly.
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Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.
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Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.
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A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
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Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.
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I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
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(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!
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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
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Thankfully the rest of the world assumed that the Irish were crazy, a theory that the Irish themselves did nothing to debunk. They had somehow got it into their heads that each fairy lugged around a pot of gold with him wherever he went. While it was true that LEP had a ransom fund, because of its officers' high-risk occupation, no human had ever taken a chunk of it yet. This didn't stop the Irish population in general from skulking around rainbows, hoping to win the supernatural lottery.
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I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.
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Why can't I solve this problem by killing someone? she though petulantly, then comforted herself with the mantra that had kept her going in prison: "Soon all the humans will be dead," she said, droning in the time-honored fashion of gurus everywhere. "And then Opal will be loved." And even if I'm not loved, she thought, at least all the humans will be dead.
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Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
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Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?
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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
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Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
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But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.
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Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.
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Who or what inspires you?" "I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
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Trust me. I haven't been wrong yet.
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There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony
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Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.
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Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. "Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four?" Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. "I don't think Opal bothers with laws.
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
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I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. "I am not here." Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. "Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass!" Donal let out a long suffering sigh. "Eoin is being a writer." Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.
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Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.
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I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
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I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.
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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
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The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.
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Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
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If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.
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'Insanity... I like it."
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Don't hate me forever, Arty," whispered Holly. "I couldn't bear that.
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