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A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass. - Martin Luther Quotes
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
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Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. - Peter Kreeft Quotes
Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts.
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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly. - Benjamin Franklin Quotes
Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.
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As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.
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If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.
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I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
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Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.
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Every man knows the smell of his own fart.
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I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts.
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My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
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The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
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I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right.
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You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.
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Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God must fart and burp as well.
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I fart in your general direction.
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You stand out like a fart in a church.
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That has less significance than a dog's fart.
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She's a warm fart at Christmas.
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We're here on Earth to fart around
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People dressed in a certain kind of clothing are never wrong. Also they never fart.
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At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.
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I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.
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I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.
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I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.
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I know that at one time, the Arctic was the tropics. And I guess I wonder what caused that? Was it dinosaur farts? I don’t know.
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You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!
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I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.
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Right now, the old guys, the old farts, if you will, are still running the show, and the women haven't gotten their place yet at all.
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The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!
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I have a playlist of farts on my phone.
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If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.
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There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact.
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I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.
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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.
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Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.
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I am happy everywhere except in places where I see glitz and rich farts. I am happiest in Brooklyn, where the concentration of rich farts is minimal.
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Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.
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Robert Plant asked me to marry him, but I said 'no.' I mean, you just don't want to marry someone you've wanted to do it with since you were thirteen, because, well, if he farts, I would, like, die!
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are. - Andy Samberg Quotes
The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
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If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity. - Andy Samberg Quotes
If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
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And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart. - Anthony Bourdain Quotes
And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart.
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Did you hear something, Nora?” Vee asked. “I thought I heard something.” “You definitely heard something,” I agreed. “Could that be … a dog fart I heard?” Vee asked me.
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Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.
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There is Harlan Ellison the human being, who takes a crap a couple of times a day, and who farts, and who eats chicken croquettes, if I can find them. And then there is the writer, this writer-person, who is a much finer person than I. Much more orderly, much more meaningful. Worthier, than I [am].
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A fart in the face is love.
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Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
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A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
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Have you been sniffing fairy farts?
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So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled all the time and eggs came out of the back of them.
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A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this.
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Art is like a fart for the soul. Better out than in.
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Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.
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I wouldn't fart in front of my wife, and she wouldn't do it in front of me.
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I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman.
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I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. - Kurt Vonnegut Quotes
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
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Fart jokes still work for me.
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At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart.
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Verbal contracts are about as useful as a fart on a treadmill.
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I fart. My backstage ritual is flatulence.
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If you can fart in front of somebody, you know that they love you.
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I couldn't fart in an elevator without people wanting to sue me.
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I want to become so successful that if I wanna fart on a track, I can, and it will sell.
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So the universe will continue to expand forever, and the galaxies will get farther and farther apart, and things will just die. That’s the way it is. It doesn't matter whether I feel lonely about it or not.
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Each morning you set your sights on the tasks ahead and hope that when the day is done you’re farther along than when you started.
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We say brain fart when we should really say cache miss.
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A fart is not only a political statement; it is also a weapon.
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Fortune have somewhat the nature of a woman; if she be too much wooed, she is the farther off.
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No matter how politely one says it, we owe our existence to the farts of blue-green algae.
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The farther down the road you go the tougher they get and I live at the end of the road!
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The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
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Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in the room can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action is denial.
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