App Suggestion

Thank you!

Your suggestion has been submitted.

Home page
Submit Quote

Thank you!

The quote has been submitted.

Home page

Share

Dont fight even over girlfriends. The country is full of beautiful women. If you cant get one, come to Mugabe for assistance.
4983
Share
Copy Quote
Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point. - Tyga Quotes
Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point.
430
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
358
Share
Copy Quote
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
318
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore. When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head.
317
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She's always eating chocolate. And she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction. You know, she'd be like keep me away from those chocolate bars, I'm addicted to them. And it's really annoying. So one day I put her in the car and I drove her downtown and I pointed out a crack addict. And I said you see that honey? Why can't you be that skinny?
303
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time.
302
Share
Copy Quote
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button. - Harry Styles Quotes
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button.
274
Share
Copy Quote
The average person is either a weakling, or just a happy person who wants to get along, or thinks being tough is having big muscles and strutting around town and having a good-looking girlfriend.
243
Share
Copy Quote
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic.
228
Share
Copy Quote
I dated a lot, but I never really had anyone who was worthy of an anniversary. And most girlfriends never made it to a year, anyway.
210
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend. - Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
178
Share
Copy Quote
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.
177
Share
Copy Quote
Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife. - Hugh Hefner Quotes
Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife.
175
Share
Copy Quote
Im such a work in progress at the moment, its crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But as long as I dont forget the past, Im cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but shes really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, youre going to be just fine.
166
Share
Copy Quote
When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’. - Drake Quotes
When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.
151
Share
Copy Quote
I want to fall in love, I think. I've never. I know. Everyone I know's been in love or in relationships now and... There's only ever been... there's been people telling me they love me, but it freaks me out and I just run, run. I think I'm a bad girlfriend.
143
Share
Copy Quote
People often ask me why don't you have a girlfriend. Then I smile and say: I have thousands some just haven't met me yet
130
Share
Copy Quote
There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson Quotes
There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.
533
Share
Copy Quote
I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips...I'm twisted. Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress.
111
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.
104
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. - Emo Philips Quotes
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
103
Share
Copy Quote
Can you surf really well, then?" I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh. "Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried." He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)
100
Share
Copy Quote
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
99
Share
Copy Quote
I am a hopeless romantic and I love to spoil my girlfriends. - Orlando Bloom Quotes
I am a hopeless romantic and I love to spoil my girlfriends.
314
Share
Copy Quote
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. - Steven Wright Quotes
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
93
Share
Copy Quote
True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it
86
Share
Copy Quote
You know, the man of my dreams might walk round the corner tomorrow. I'm older and wiser and I think I'd make a great girlfriend. I live in the realm of romantic possibility.
85
Share
Copy Quote
We are constantly protecting the male ego, and it's a disservice to men. If a man has any sensitivity or intelligence, he wants to get the straight scoop from his girlfriend.
84
Share
Copy Quote
My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest.
84
Share
Copy Quote
Every night, my girlfriend comes home from work, and she brings with her a houseplant. She's like, 'Anthony, I had to pick this up. We need a houseplant in our apartment.' And every night, I make her return it. I say, 'No way, baby. You can't take care of a houseplant. You couldn't even keep your baby alive.'
82
Share
Copy Quote
Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.
77
Share
Copy Quote
We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades. - Lisa Bonet Quotes
We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades.
262
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?
74
Share
Copy Quote
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
74
Share
Copy Quote
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. - Dane Cook Quotes
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
566
Share
Copy Quote
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
73
Share
Copy Quote
Now, when you boys get home, you're gonna see a lot of war protestors. But don't be bitter. Go up to one, shake his hand, and smile. Then wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy.
73
Share
Copy Quote
I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend. - Deion Sanders Quotes
I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend.
71
Share
Copy Quote
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
71
Share
Copy Quote
I don't date my girlfriend because she's a model. I date her because I love her. - Adam Levine Quotes
I don't date my girlfriend because she's a model. I date her because I love her.
69
Share
Copy Quote
I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though.
69
Share
Copy Quote
I did an interview once where I was asked who I found attractive and I went on about cartoons and Nala from 'The Lion King' - and it's a bit weird but various of my ex-girlfriends actually did look like Nala.
69
Share
Copy Quote
If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.
333
Share
Copy Quote
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.
69
Share
Copy Quote
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.
67
Share
Copy Quote
I have one good girlfriend and then most of my friends are guys. Which I love, because they're just like so easygoing and I love to play like Xbox and just chill out when I'm not working, so boys are probably the way to go for me.
67
Share
Copy Quote
I'm always looking for a girlfriend. - Austin Mahone Quotes
I'm always looking for a girlfriend.
67
Share
Copy Quote
I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.
67
Share
Copy Quote
I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too.
67
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend tells me if I'm doing a movie I'm a roller coaster of emotions all the time, but on "Boardwalk," because I've done it for so long and I'm so in tune with the character, she says I'm pretty happy most of the time.
67
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. - Jay London Quotes
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
234
Share
Copy Quote
My world was a community ballet school, a marching band, my two sisters and my girlfriends. I played saxophone in the band and was a bit nerdy.
67
Share
Copy Quote
She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. "Nuh-uh. Mine." "Share!" she demanded. "Man, you are one grabby girlfriend." She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part. "If you love me, you'll give me a taco." "Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?" "Not for a taco," she said. "I'm not cheap." "They're brisket tacos." "Now you're talking.
67
Share
Copy Quote
'Chasing Amy' was an amazing role, but then after that, I went and did 'Big Daddy' and you're the girlfriend or you're the best friend. I wasn't getting the Nicole Kidman roles.
67
Share
Copy Quote
I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other. - John Green Quotes
I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other.
67
Share
Copy Quote
Well let me tell you what [High School Musical] is really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music involved. You have to get stoned to watch it.
67
Share
Copy Quote
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
66
Share
Copy Quote
To be born as a human being is a rare thing, something to be grateful for. But being born as a human being is worthless if you spend your whole life in a mental hospital. It is worthless if you worry about not having money. It is worthless if you become neurotic because you cannot get a prestigious job. It is worthless if you weep because you lose your girlfriend.
66
Share
Copy Quote
Having a girlfriend was no longer my greatest need. Knowing and obeying Him was . I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people - even if it meant kissing dating goodbye.
66
Share
Copy Quote
I have unemployed my girlfriend. She had a job working for a cardiologist and now she can hang out, put her feet up, buy all the things she wants, have a nice breakfast with you and me in the Four Seasons. Any fights in families like mine come from everyone worrying about money. I'm taking all those worries away. That makes me feel happy, makes me really proud of what I do.
65
Share
Copy Quote
I like to think of myself as very loyal, and I love everyone I surround myself with, whether they're friends or girlfriends or whatever.
62
Share
Copy Quote
Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.
60
Share
Copy Quote
You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.
60
Share
Copy Quote
I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.
60
Share
Copy Quote
Going to radio with a rap record prior to going to the consumer is like having no foreplay with your girlfriend.
60
Share
Copy Quote
The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have. - Toshihiko Seko Quotes
The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have.
60
Share
Copy Quote
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
59
Share
Copy Quote
The best things in life can never be kept; They must be given away. A Smile, a Kiss, and Love If you are asking if I'd hurt you, the answer is never. If you are asking if i love u,the answer is forever. If you are asking if i want u,the answer is i do. If you are asking what i value most, the answer is YOU Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
59
Share
Copy Quote
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it. - Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.
58
Share
Copy Quote
If you break up with a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you're in this vulnerable state where you're still kind of half in the relationship with them, but you're single, and it takes a while to feel solid in yourself again.
58
Share
Copy Quote
A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set! - Zac Hanson Quotes
A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set!
56
Share
Copy Quote
In my position, I think the best thing I do is just keep girlfriend involved. - Kid Ink Quotes
In my position, I think the best thing I do is just keep girlfriend involved.
55
Share
Copy Quote
Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing.
54
Share
Copy Quote
They kept asking me over and over again whether I was having a romance with Hitler. Are you Hitler's girlfriend? I laughed and answered the same way each time: No, those are false rumours. I only made documentaries for him.
54
Share
Copy Quote
Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug.
54
Share
Copy Quote
Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car keys." And then I just think of different ways the story could end. "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. The trick is just to write a ton of jokes.
51
Share
Copy Quote
Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
49
Share
Copy Quote
Osho used me and Shunyo (my girlfriend at the time) as an example of how he envisioned men and women should relate. He shared a story he had often told in discourse of a man and woman who lived at opposite ends of a lake. They were deeply in love but only met by chance when sometimes out rowing on the water. He said it was beautiful how Shunyo and I met like this couple. When we had the feeling to be together, we would meet and enjoy. And when we were apart, we were also happy and content in our aloneness.
49
Share
Copy Quote
Oh yeah In France a skinny man Died of a big disease with a little name By chance his girlfriend came across a needle And soon she did the same At home there are seventeen-year-old boys And their idea of fun Is being in a gang called The Disciples High on crack, totin' a machine gun.
49
Share
Copy Quote
More Quotes
About Contact Submit Privacy Terms

© 2020 - All rights reserved pepquotes.com