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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
993
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
993
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
937
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
881
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No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
825
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Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
769
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For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
713
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Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
656
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The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.
600
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
544
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There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong.
488
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
230
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Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
226
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
166
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.
163
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The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can't get and to promise to give it to them. Nine times out of ten that promise is worth nothing. The tenth time is made good by looting A to satisfy B. In other words, government is a broker in pillage, and every election is sort of an advance auction sale of stolen goods.
143
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
141
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When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental - men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre.
128
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Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
118
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
115
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The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
115
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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
115
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
114
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Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
110
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Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.
107
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
104
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The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
97
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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
96
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Most people want security in this world, not liberty. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
95
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
91
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There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
91
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
89
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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
89
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A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
86
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
85
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War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
85
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If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
84
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All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them.
82
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An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
81
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A man of active and resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs, his politics and his epistemology.
80
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To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.
78
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
77
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The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
77
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The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
74
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The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
74
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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
74
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Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
74
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The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
74
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Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
74
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I am one of the few goyim who have ever actually tackled the Talmud. I suppose you now expect me to add that it is a profound and noble work, worthy of hard study by all other goyims. Unhappily, my report must differ from this expectation. It seems to me, save for a few bright spots, to be quite indistinguishable from rubbish.
73
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When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before.
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The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
69
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Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.
69
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Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead
67
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All the charming and beautiful things, from the Song of Songs, to bouillabaisse, and from the nine Beethoven symphonies to the Martini cocktail, have been given to humanity by men who, when the hour came, turned from tap water to something with color in it, and more in it than mere oxygen and hydrogen.
67
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The war on privilege will never end. Its next grat campaign will be against the special privileges of the underprivileged.
67
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To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
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The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits
63
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It [the State] has taken on a vast mass of new duties and responsibilities; it has spread out its powers until they penetrate to every act of the citizen, however secret; it has begun to throw around its operations the high dignity and impeccability of a State religion; its agents become a separate and superior caste, with authority to bind and loose, and their thumbs in every pot. But it still remains, as it was in the beginning, the common enemy of all well-disposed, industrious and decent men.
59
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
56
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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
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Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.
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Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant.
49
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Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
49
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
48
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Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.
47
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
47
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The notion that a radical is one who hates his country is naïve and usually idiotic. He is, more likely, one who likes his country more than the rest of us, and is thus more disturbed than the rest of us when he sees it debauched. He is not a bad citizen turning to crime; he is a good citizen driven to despair.
45
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
45
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The state remains, as it was in the beginning, the common enemy of all well-disposed, industrious and decent men.
45
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
45
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The State doesn't just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
The State doesn't just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.
44
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Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.
44
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Love is photogenic. It needs darkness room to develop - H. L. Mencken Quotes
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness room to develop
43
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I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind.
41
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It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H. L. Mencken Quotes
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
40
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
38
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A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
38
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School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, brutal violations of common sense and common decency. It doesn't take a reasonably bright boy long to discover that most of what is rammed into him is nonsense, and that no one really cares very much whether he learns it or not.
38
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All government is, in its essence, organized exploitation, and in virtually all of its existing forms it is the implacable enemy of every industrious and well-disposed man.
38
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